Rector's blog

Sharron and Don have said, yet gain, how much they are enjoying and appreciating all that is happening during this visit. Strong friendships are being formed, which – even if we are separated by thousands of miles – will continue to encourage us in all that we have to face in the years ahead.

After a full day in London myself, I managed to catch up with Sharron and Don at suppertime. They had had a really splendid day out, first visiting Guildford Cathedral, then Windsor. This day therefore included the third Royal Palace that they have seen: Buckingham Palace, Hampton Court and now Windsor Castle. They experienced there what any visitor can: beauty, safety, sanctuary, a living tradition and a rich heritage. It’s the combination of these that is awesome: a thousand years of duty, service, prayer, leadership and ceremony. Of course, England and its monarchs have had it dark moments, and there have been many rascals on our throne. But there is a quality about the British understanding of royalty that – without romanticising it is very important, and consonant with our spiritual tradition.

‘Sacred Kingship’ is the phrase scholars use – practised in the Old Testament period, introduced into England from the 9^th Century, and re-formed (occasionally, being purified of  more grandiose ideas) again and again throughout the following centuries. A sacred monarchy includes (at least) public recognition of the charisma of the leader, a profound sense of duty, and self-confidence in those ruled so that they do not see themselves as dominated by the monarch – rather (and this is key) somehow we are more ourselves, we are a better nation, because we have a monarch on the throne. It’s a high ideal but one worth maintaining and celebrating.

Two highlights from Thursday:

The Mayor of Guildford received Dumane, Cebo, Stella and Vinet (with Sharron and Don) at the Guildhall for tea. Terence Patrick, the Mayor, did a superb job, greeting them kindly, welcoming them and putting them at their ease. He told them a bit about the history of the town and Guildhall. But what was very exciting for the children was being allowed to hold the various treasures.  The Mayor showed them the original mayoral chain, made out of solid gold and about 400 years old.  Even more exciting was being shown the javelin that the steward who processed in front of the Mayor used to carry to protect him.  Also they loved hearing about the Mace – now used in ceremonies, but originally it was a weapon.  This was history coming alive – and all done with a great smile.  The tea and cakes were pretty special too!

Then they are visited the Girl Choristers for choir practice.  The children from South Africa will be singing on Sunday morning.  It was so heart-warming to see our girls learn the piece from our visitors so quickly, picking up on the actions too.

The common language of kindness and music is recognisable across many boundaries.

The Common Language of Football

I arrived at the Palles-Clark’s house last night for supper with our South African guests to find four very happy children. They were out in the garden playing football with the children from the parish. All differences of culture and language are set aside when you can do something enjoyable together. That’s the common language of football.

Also that evening the children were icing cakes to take into school: lots of pink icing with chocolate sprinkles on top! Everyone was enjoying that too: the common language of food! Stella, one of our guests, is spending today at Guildford High School with Grace Palles-Clark – and it’s Stella’s birthday. So the cakes were needed to honour the tradition that, on your birthday, you bring in something to celebrate with the whole class (and not just your friends). That is a lovely tradition that mixes up expectations of giving and receiving. The birthday girl is the giver of cakes (not the receiver); the class mates receive a gift on someone else’s birthday – yet thereby they become gives of friendship and thanks. Throughout our preparations for this visit, I have been aware that we are both constantly giving and receiving. Our visitors from South Africa are blessing us with their presence – they do us honour by visiting, and we will learn from them. As well as that, we as hosts are giving hospitality and kindness.

This mix is what we also experience – the Eucharist. We receive blessing – yet we do have to provide the gifts of bread and wine that are required. If we only give and never see ourselves as recipients, we may become patronising and embittered. It is truly blessed to give and receive – together, at the same time.

I look forward to Stella’s birthday tea party today.

More news tomorrow….

Delighted to say that our guests have safely arrived: Sharron, Don, Dumane, Cebo, Vinet and Stella. I was rather shocked to read on the web that the flight was expected to land 30 minutes early. So we had to drive full speed around the M25. In the end, the flight was on time.

But then the first glitch! Although we were standing right by Passport Control, we missed them... until I received a polite phone call from Sharron "where are you?!" We were only 10 yards away facing in the wrong direction.

Anyway, they are here and they had a good flight. The children are very excited, and all our spirits are high. I will be writing regularly about their visit, not least because people from Springs, South Africa, follow our website. So, to all of you, greetings. We will look after Sharron and the others very well.

There are two well-known phrases that do NOT occur in a wedding service.  According to the Prayer Book (modern or old) the priest does not say “you may now kiss the bride”.  Yet, I found myself saying that phrase on Friday in St Mary’s – solely because the groom had asked me at the rehearsal to do precisely that.  And, secondly, the couple do not say “I do”.  Though that simple sentence occurs in many films, the words the couple are meant to say are “I will”.

The vows are a declaration of their will – not merely a description of what they plan to do. Loving, comforting, honouring, protecting and being faithful are not merely 5 items to put on your list for “what I would like to do this weekend”.  They are rather things that will shape your behaviour and attitude.  Fulfilling your marriage vows only happens if you bring all your energy, intention, thoughtfulness and compassion to bear.  That’s what makes the vow a declaration of your will.  I hear echoes of this in the words from Jesus (borrowed from the Old Testament) where he affirms the commandment to love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.  

 But we should not downplay too much what we actually do – the road to Hell being paved with good intentions.  Certainly, the Jewish tradition is much stronger on recognising that actions are the way we display our faith, our hope, and our belief.  I was reminded of this on Sunday morning at the early service when the Gospel reading was the parable of the Good Samaritan.  The lawyer asks “what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”  And Jesus concludes, after the parable, “Go and do the same”.  William Blake’s words about the importance of loving ‘in minute particulars’ come to mind.  We fulfil our vows of commitment by daily doing simple actions, even if they need to be recognised as flowing from a deeper source.

So, on Friday afternoon, the newly married husband did something embarassing in front of the congregation of 130 cheering and applauding friends.  Perhaps he was right to ask me (silently) “What shall I do?”  And perhaps I was right to say “You may/will now kiss the bride”.